In the first decade of the twentieth century, EDWARD DELLAND is the Classics master at a boys’ boarding school near Manchester. Lonely, inarticulate and shy, he is mocked for his idealism by the other masters, and as he approaches the age of forty, overweight and unattractive, believes that love will never come his way.
He longs for the company of charming women, but his sister-in-law PANSY, who brought him up, manages him unmercifully. If only, Edward thinks, his brother JAMES had married a Martha, or an Emma, he would have had a sister-in-law whom he could have loved instead of fearing. Edward chooses names for his imaginary sisters and sisters-in-law - names which he believes best reflect their relationship to himself.
His knowledge of the Classics gives him the name Sophonisba, a Carthaginian noblewoman who lived at the time of the Punic Wars. That name has a fascination for him, and it is fortunate, he thinks, that it is obsolete. If he ever met a Sophonisba, he would have to fall in love - the name is reserved for the sweetheart he believes he will never have.
Then an uncle dies, leaving everything to Edward, who buys a house in the country and takes up gardening. As he creates the beautiful garden which is the setting for many of the scenes of the story, he becomes fitter.
A sharp-featured, sharp-tongued young village child befriends him. This girl, to whom Edward gives the name “Priscilla” or “Prudence” is in fact named AMELIA-ANN. She tells Edward that in the village he is known as a recluse and an eccentric.
She asks him why he doesn’t get married, when he can live “off the fat of the land every day”, and introduces him to the Vicar’s daughter and assistant, Miss Soapy, the middle plain daughter of a family of five girls, who with four beautiful sisters still unmarried, is fully aware of her own distinctly poor chances in the marriage market.
When Edward learns that her real name is SOPHONISBA he falls instantly in love, completely blind to the fact that Sophonisba’s managing tendencies make her a younger version of Pansy.
Imbuing her with every perfection of beauty and desirability, Edward thinks his attentions will be unwelcome.
The Squire, MR. POLLYT tells Edward about his niece, MARCIA, a brilliant young author. Edward dreads the promised meeting, knowing how tongue-tied he becomes in the presence of women, especially clever ones. But when he reads Miss Pollyt’s book, and finds it so delightful that he longs to meet the author.
When she comes to stay in the village he finds her as charming as her book and is surprised how easy it is to talk to her. Miss Pollyt falls in love with Edward, but his heart is already given to Sophonisba. He admires Miss Pollyt’s beautiful clothes, and imagines how they would look on his shabby Sophonisba. Eventually Miss Pollyt leaves, accepting that her love will never be returned.
Sophonisba is summoned to London by her godmother, to “do” the season and to be presented at Court. Edward steels himself to losing her to a young nobleman - one of the many he believes will pursue her. When she returns, without having found a husband, Sophonisba tries to bring Edward to the point of a proposal, but fails. Finally, irritated by his blindness, she tells him she has done everything she can do, and is going to give him up. Edward falls into a depression.
Pansy, believing that Edward is depressed because he has proposed to Miss Pollyt and been refused, sends her son, Edward’s handsome young nephew, TOM to cheer him up. Tom sees Sophonisba’s beautiful eldest sister GRACE, and spends all his time at the Vicarage, making Edward even more depressed, because he assumes that the object of Tom’s attention is Sophonisba. He is convinced that the young, handsome, confident nephew will succeed where the old, dull, shy uncle has failed.
Matters are resolved by a baby, the daughter of Edward’s housekeeper DOROTHEA, who literally brings Edward and Sophonisba together.